Typical

this is a test...

2006-01-16T13:54:00.000-05:00

So, I'm here to test the government's new "big brother" program. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can read almost any newspaper. If that's too much for you, here's a little article published by CNN.com:

Bush talks about wire tapping

But really, it's not just wire tapping. These programs also read your emails. The program picks up on certain war-on-terror buzz words that may signify your participation in a terrorist group. Here goes:

kill the president
kill George Bush
bomb the White House
Washington D.C.
Congress
jihad
Osama Bin Laden
Iraq
suicide bomber
missile
naval base

I can't really think of anymore at this time, but If the feds show up at my house I'll be sure to let you all know - unless they take my computer. If you think of anymore buzz words, please post them as comments. Especially if you are the Great Waldo Pepper.

it hits you sometimes

2005-11-24T19:32:00.000-05:00

Every year one holiday manages to depress me and this year it seems I've fallen into the dark cornucopia that is Thanksgiving. The corn pudding was delicious, my Grandma went easy on the criticisms and things went off without a hitch, but I've never felt worse really. Again I was confronted with the mysterious heart problem that makes me feel like an out of shape 64-year-old and I could hardly catch my breath to talk at the table. The people that see me in these weird progeria-esque instances try to offer some sort of help - some recommendations - and others have questions and I still don't have the answers.
I have a lot of people around me, yet I feel more and more alone today (cliche). Maybe it's just the inevitable feeling of holidays like this one, but I can't help but feel like my relationship seams are ripping just a little more each day. And as they do I get nervous and try to hold on and end up looking a little obsessive, insecure, whatever...so I feel. I say all the typical, loving things that one should but I'm beginning to feel like maybe I feel that so much more than people do for me. My weak point is that I love so hard sometimes I set myself up for a little disappointment. I managed to avoid this situation for years, but it's finally gotten to me. There are no regrets, but just realization that I can't protect myself like I used to from a sick heart.

ahh, and so it begins...

2005-10-11T17:47:00.000-04:00

...sweater weather. I never manage to put a sweater on at the right time. It's either still too warm for wool, but i want to wear it anyways, and end up sweating through some class or meeting and wishing i hadn't tried to hurry nature's chill, or I wait too long and snuggle in a t-shirt inside my grey hoodie thinking how "damn, I shoulda worn a sweater."

But tonight, if I get the chance, I'm going to wear a sweater. I don't know where I'll go in it, but I'll be wearing a sweater.

Here is Norfolk it's approximately 60 degrees with 5-10 mph winds, which makes it a little cooler than that, around 55 degrees. Perfect time for a light sweater. Don't bust out the heavy, cowl neck monsters just yet - it's too soon. Now's the time for a thin wool, maybe a mock turtle neck. Yeah, that's it, a light wool mock turtle neck.

What do we cover?

2005-10-09T11:37:00.000-04:00

Journalism is a strange breed - on one end the media is supposed to cover what interests the public, and on the other what they cover, much of the time, dictates what interests people. There is some moral, ethical dilemma here because who is to say what I should be interested in? Or what you should care about?

For example, I watch numerous round table political discussions on Sunday mornings, like the Chris Matthews show (whatabastard) and George Stephanopoulos on "This Week." I just enjoy seeing George Will and Cokey Roberts at least once a week (I've gotta do something since I got rid of cable - no CNN, remember?). Also, I like seeing what the journalists themselves think is important and comparing that to all the other things going on in the world.

These thoughts all started when Lindsey Lohan got in a car accident "running from the paparazzi." I witnessed this headline in the top bar of CNN.com for almost 24 hours. Meanwhile a story broke that one of Cheyney's guards had been using his top secret clearance to leak damaging info. about the president of the Philippines to one of the president's political opponents. This was the first time in modern history (that we know of, of course) when the security of the "most important" buildings in our country was compromised. It took CNN.com at least 5 hours to even mention something about it. And even then it was just a line above the still lingering, badly decomposing non-story of Ms. Lohan.

CNN.com has done a good job, however, of covering the incredible earthquake in Asia. I've watched the nightly news every night and seen little to no coverage of the quake that is responsible for almost 20,000 deaths so far. Maybe it's because we've done the whole "feel bad for southeast Asia" thing with the tsunami and all our focus was turned inward with Katrina.

So, because the focus of the people has turned inward on themselves, does that mean that the nightly news still shouldn't inform everyone, just a little bit, of what's going on in the rest of the world? Every news broadcast needs a decent world perspective just like every respectable daily newspaper. Every event that happens outside our borders will affect us somehow, so we should know, right?

So journalism is this juggling act and at these times when there are numerous, huge stories someone is going to drop a pin here and there. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't criticize their inability to handle it all. Washington D.C. has turned into a hot bed of controversies (google Tom DeLay, Bill Frist, and Karl Rove - you should know) and every reporter is hoping for that story that will elevate his or her career to the next echelon.

Massive death and natural disaster just isn't hot right now - we've gone into a phase of exploiting political corruption, which is great, but there has to be a balance.

radio is the way to go

2005-09-10T09:57:00.000-04:00

i realized early this morning that I had my AM/FM antenna hooked up to my tv. Once I hooked the TV antenna up, things got a little better, but I lost a whole channel completely.

On the plus side, I have my tuner hooked up and the antenna gets great reception (meaning, NPR comes in clearly, meaning great tunes!). Also, David gave me a cable to hook my laptop up to my stereo - - I get itunes radio out of my stereo! It is all great to me.

I am now at the point where I only listen to the radio and watch PBS. The thing is lately, I haven't had the money to go out and buy new albums. Also, I just never put forth the effort to hook a little portable CD player up in my car, or my iPod really. A side note on the iPod, it jams up all the time. I was going to sell it to cash converters or something but realized the douches there would only give me about fifty bucks.

Something I really need to do is figure out how to consolidate all the cords I have running around my house. There are close to fifteen different cords around my stereo and tv. I love this apartment, but the problem with quaint (see: old) little buildings like this is that there are maybe two electrical outlets in huge rooms. Which means, I have cords draped across the floor that the cat chews and I trip on.

I need some cord management.

two wholes, maybe three

2005-09-04T10:10:00.000-04:00

Do you understand what it means now that Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist has died? Three things can happen:

1. President Bush can move one of the present justices up to Chief Justice status making TWO spots open up on the bench and requiring THREE hearings. John Roberts will most likely be sworn in. Then what? Will there be another extreme conservative brought on?

2. Bush can put Roberts on as the Chief Justice and fill the other spot left by Sandra Day O'Connor.

3. Or he can look for another candidate for Chief Justice and stick Roberts in the O'Connor spot.

Regardless of how he does it, you should be scared for your civil liberties! Honestly, if you don't realize the magnitude of this situation, you really should. A woman with a very important swing vote leaves the bench and Bush brings on a super conservative MAN? Then, Rehnquist, an extreme conservative that was all for making abortion illegal, dies and opens up the most crucial spot on the bench. Bush will most likely stick Roberts on the bench and find another equally conservative candidate to present to Congress - and if it all goes through the Supreme Court could be more conservative and fundamentalist than before!

This is Bush's chance to leave his mark on U.S. law for years to come and I guarantee he will use it to his advantage. This is only the second time in history, other than Nixon, that a President has had the chance to name two justices. The White House has been planning for this for quite some time - knowing Rehnquist wouldn't make it through.

Here is an article from the Washington Post giving a snapshot look at each of the possible nominees to the supreme court .

On the way down.

2005-07-30T09:27:00.000-04:00

It was one of those sitcom moments that I always talk about. The funny, ironic moments that make that laugh-track drop. They're only funny on tv - not if they happen to you.

So I attended a wonderful belated birthday party for my dear friend Thalia last night. Her mom's band played some great tunes - including Marshall Tucker band covers. There was delicious food and a keg of Sierra Nevada. All of my good friends were there and even some people I hadn't seen in a while. Sounds perfect, right?

It was for the most part. I walked my boyfriend out to his car. As we approached the front steps of the house, I said the following:

"David, be careful, these steps are very slippery."

No sooner did the words come out of my mouth and I was slipping back side down on six front steps. The alcohol kept me from feeling most of the pain, but I'm in a sore state this morning. Mind and body! I guess I was just more embarrassed that I slipped in front of my boyfriend. He's a great guy and was obviously startled and scared by the whole thing. I'm sure it looked pretty traumatic.

Needless to say, I've got an ass bruise in the making. Right now it's just a little bruise, but I can feel the pain all around it. I think I've been a tad traumatized by the whole thing. I take much more care walking down my fire escape than I used to. Also, the bricks at the front of my apartment turn to ice when it rains. I really feel like it's my flip-flops that are the problem.

They are plain, black, cheap-o flip flops from Target. I got them in the men's section because they were only $2.00. Part of me wonders if I should just purchase some actual nice flip-flops - with support in the arches and some tread to protect me. But then I think - what the hell? They're flip flops! I know people with Rainbow flip-flops and those Tiva ones, but they cost damn near $40! I don't know how I would justify purchasing "expensive" flip-flops. They've always been the cheap footwear choice in my eyes. Not to mention I go through many pairs in a year - I either break them, leave them at a friend's house, get Thai dinner juice spilled on them, etc. So, why get expensive ones? Then I will just be nervous about all the things that could possibly happen to the shoes.

Things I would much rather buy right now than new flip-flops:

Another natural health bible: These are great! I can search anything and find a natural remedy for it. Take for instance my ear aches - I've been using ear drops made of Mullein flowers and garlic and extra virgin olive oil! You can also find natural remedies for sexual dysfunction, "the blues", and warts! Anything really.

Compound W Freeze off Wart Remover: Another side effect of wearing flip-flops is, I guess, your feet are exposed to nasty shit all the time. I got a wart on my second right foot toe and I need to take care of it. Unfortunately, all the wart remover stuff is ungodly expensive!! This same issue applies to pregnancy tests - why are they so god damn expensive! (note: you can purchase EPT tests at the dollar store).

A DVD teaching me to knit: I've had so much trouble knitting. I can crochet a decent scarf, well, a discernable scarf. The problem with my knitting is that my needles get to tight, my yarn tugs and eventually breaks, and then i get pissed off! I've searched the Kirn library catalog and there aren't any DVDs. There are plenty of VHS, but I have an antique (ie: broken) VCR.

A Cuisinart food processor: God, how I've wanted one of these as long as I can remember. I've heard the blade is so rad many people cut themselves cleaning it for the first time. The wounds bleed for three days - oh the power!

Some new clothes: My pants are too tight. I look like I have a ton of pants, but many of them don't even fit me anymore. I'm not fat or anything. I have gone from size 0/1 pants up to 4, where I sit now. I need to start exercising. Not because I think I'm overweight, but because I'm sure I'm just sitting on borrowed time with my bod. How many times have I heard, "Oh, I used to look just like you when I was your age!" from a 300 pound woman.

Motivation to exercise: This can't be purchased, but I've tried to enlist some people I work with to bust my balls about it. They're supposed to remind me to do it. I want to be one of those people addicted to exercising. The kind that says, "oh sorry, i'll meet you guys at the pub around 7, I have to exercise before I do anything." Or "oh my god, I feel like shit, I haven't jogged in two days." or "I can't wait to use the elliptical!"

I feel quite pretentious and self-absorbed writing this, but also honest. I don't give a shit that I want to "buy" things or that I'm concerned with my body. It's only natural in this world. Also, I feel a need to take care of what seems a very fragile soul shell. I'd love to be the kind of person that says "nah, all I need is nature" or something like that, but no matter how minimalist you are, you're always accustomed to something.

Hardcore Office Space

2005-07-28T17:14:00.000-04:00

Today I surprised myself with creativity. If you work in an office you will know what I'm talking about. Usually you only do about three hours of work for every five you happen to be present, so when you get a lot of things done it is truly an accomplishment. Don't even assume that your pal that works in a cubicle deserves every penny he/she gets....it's just not true in an hourly office position. I like to think I'm one of the most productive, because even left on my own (about the time most people visit the yahoo gaming site) I get a shit load of work done.

I've made a great friend in my new immediate supervisor. She seems like a great person and asks for my help and input on a lot of things. I enjoy a supervisor that doesn't seem like one. Plus she doesn't care that I exceed the total amount of hours per week allowed for people in my position. She signs off on my 73 hours every two weeks.

I'm having trouble figuring out what to get my brother for his birthday next week. He's a metal fan and he's expressed some interest in the Distillers, Children of Bodom, as well as anything Dave Grohl, but I hate getting people the things they tell me they want. Shouldn't I be in tune enough to his tastes to be able to confidently pick out an album? I want to surprise him with something he's never heard and can learn to love. Plus, the metal world is such a hit or miss genre. To me, the majority of the bands out there that classify themselves this way are terrible. It's so abrasive that it's difficult to even make out the things that make one metal band different from another. Of course, those who enjoy metal can make out the nuances of a lead singer's scream or some other aspect of the band that makes it rad, but what about the rest of us?

Take the band 3 Inches of Blood for example. This is a band whose lyrics consist of Lord of the Rings imagery as well as battles between cyborgs and humans. Their album is called "Advance and Vanquish" for god's sake. Storming castles, stinky moats, defeating entire Arthurian England armies - these are things that can set a metal band apart from the rest! Also, there is one singer with a Rob Halford-type falsetto and another guy to take on the quintessential metal role of "the screamer." A nice touch in my opinion. But this is one band!

I open up any issue of Alternative Press and find the largest review section to be metal bands. Why is it that every teen-age boy starts a metal band? Many find their ways and move on to something more their style, but I swear, 4 out of 5 times a musician has been in a metal band and it's usually before they found themselves and the things they really enjoy doing. Also, how many shitty Virginia Beach hardcore bands do you think there were when I was in 9th grade? Too many to count I'm sure!

I'm still struggling trying to figure out what attracts people to metal in the first place. Is it because of it's free for all format? I mean, not to hate on the genre really, but since it's so easy to "sound like the rest of 'em," wouldn't it be just as easy to be a shitty metal band and have no one really notice? Not that this is a bad feature. It's probably a good way for the little guys to cut their teeth playing music if it's true. But then, what does this say about that 33-year-old fat dude with sweat-smeared eyeliner still in the same metal band, screaming at his wife from the shitty Connie's bar stage? Is metal and hardcore only for young men trying their hand at "being in a band?"

GMA sucks your lifeblood

2005-07-28T09:03:00.000-04:00

I was somewhat fed up/disappointed with my blog experiences in the past. Part of me just wants to can the whole online diary idea and just scribble in my moleskine which seems to be pages of lists and plans for my future as of late. I will still continue on with the online thing, because it's easier, frankly. To be honest, i just made this on a whim sitting in my underwear with my cat next to me watching Good Morning America letting my hair dry. Please don't judge me as a spinster just yet. Maybe in ten years if I'm still doing this. To be fair, I was up around 7 am getting ready for my day and this just distracted me. Maybe later I'll give you a treat about smearing pickled okra with cream cheese and chives as well as some cheesy anecdotes about office life. Things you've heard and laughed about before, but just can't seem to get enough of. I ended with a preposition.